The importance of kindness during hostility

As an ace it is infuriating seeing stuff like "oh you don't exist", "so you're what a plant?" "Aww how cute! You'll grow out of it someday". But it's important not to snap at these comments or make snide remarks. Because if we snap out with hints of rudeness in our comments, the other party will feel like the victim then complain to others how aces are mean people who don't deserve respect. I will admit that fighting back with an equally offensive retort is first nature. It's best however to stop, take a deep breath, then explain calmly and with respect your stance, why asexuality is real, that we aren't some naive children, etc. That way, the offender can remain the offender and we won't have any guilt behind us. We'll appear more credible to outside parties who may read these comments and the offender will be seen as the immature one. To the other party who are genuinely curious about it, if any aces want to lash out I highly recommend not doing this. The other party is simply curious about a concept that's never been heard about before to them and it's our duty to inform politely to gain respect for our group. To those who already do this, this of course does not apply

Because of how rare and unheard of our group is, if the average person meets one asexual in real life, it's likely that will be one of the very few asexuals ever met in an entire lifetime right now. This will make a lasting impression about us to that person. If we lash out at others for being curious, others will believe that all aces are like this and it will hurt our growing community

So bottom line is it's important to be respectful of everyone asking about us, no matter if it's innocent curiosity or rabid hate. Try to maintain self control and focus on maintaining peace. If you're offended and/or the other person won't stop badgering, just stop replying and back away for awhile or forever. Respect is a very important quality to have during disagreements